2004-08-04 | IF IT AIN'T BEEN IN A PAWN SHOPPE IT CAN'T PLAY THE BLUES

I am.

I am watching Kids in the Hall with the sound offfffff. off full. not awful.

I am listening to B.Y.O.B.

Do you.

Do you feel like I do?

Do you know who B.Y.O.B. is?

Do you know who Michael Ivey is? He is a legend in my book. He made one of the greatest albums of all time in my other book. Under the name of Basehead. The name of the album was Play With Toys.

Do you know who Basehead is? You most definitely should.

I'm not sure how much I like this album yet. I just got it. I was going to get it like many years ago when I was into Basehead and wanted to get everything Micheal Ivey oriented. But I never got it, and for the last few years I've been trying to remember the name of this side project thingy, or whatever it is, but I couldn't remember for the life of me.

But today I went to the magical pawn shop down by the river. Okay, there's not really a river there, but it makes it sound more mystical. So I swam across the river, took off my boots and made my way into the pawn shop.

I went there specifically to get cheap cd's. I believe last time I went the cd's were 5 for 20 bucks, just like the place I used to go to in Oregon.

But this time, I walked in and was shocked to see a sign that said the cd's were ALL (!!!) $1.99. At this point I began to breakdance near the closeout record players. (which I wanted to get one so bad, but decided I would come back later and pray they were still available)

I found eleven cd's to my liking:

B.Y.O.B. (it's amazing how you can be trying to remember something for years, and then all of a sudden it just shows up when you're not even looking for it, and there it was at ye olde pawne shoppe)

GUNS N' ROSES USE YOUR ILLUSION I

LORDS OF THE UNDERGROUND HERE COME THE LORDS

1000 MONA LISAS NEW DISEASE

MIKE LADD EASY LISTENING 4 ARMAGEDDON

JACK O' NUTS ON YOU

NINE NINE LIVEZ

PETE DROGE NECKTIE SECOND

PEARL JAM VITALOGY

OASIS DEFINITELY MAYBE

FLOP FLOP & THE FALL OF THE MOPSQUEEZER

They had a better and bigger selection of discs last time. I'm not sure if they have a depleted supply because they've lowered there prices so more people are buying, or if they're phasing out cd's all together. But I'm pretty happy with the ones I found. I'm sure I'll keep at least half of them for a long time if not forever, so whatevahs, boo.

The pawn shop is as american as apple pie, or American Pie, or poon tang pie, although it's about as pie-like as a bulldozer. It makes me proud to be an American.....or maybe just proud to be smart, that people will sell their cd's to a pawn shop for like a dollar apeice. Or maybe I'm stupid for spending so much money on cd's. (It would be hard to buy all of my cd's at the pawn shop. Sometimes I have to overpay, sometimes I choose to overpay, because I'm not crazy about cd burning. If I had a burner I would only burn cd's that I've already owned, or that I've been questionable about buying, or I'd just make super awesome totally rad mix-tape's, and I'd make copies of my favorite cd's, for all the dumb fucks who are too lazy to go buy one themselves, because they wouldn't know good music if it was in their anus, or if the radio just happened to like it all of a sudden (see Modest Mouse), or if I told them about it, which is why I would make the copies for them in the first place. The Jon-man. Makin' copies....but anyway...don't let me get off on a rant)

So support your local pawn shop. Or Shoppe. Actually, fuck the shop/shoppe, and just support yourself, and your cd buying pleasure by going there first and picking some shit for cheap and saving the rest for later. I actually hate the idea of pawn shops because desperate people sell their things there, and that makes me sad.

The great thing about the pawn shop, besides the cheap stuff, is that as I was driving away, I was reminded of the song "Pawn Shop" by Sublime, and I started to sing it in my non-stereo having car, and the lyrics really started to hit me. Just remember that it's flesh and bone.....People are selling part of their lives....and it's sad....you're buying peices of their soul...fallen dreams. You start picturing the faces of people who are on their last leg, because you've been there, too, and you feel fortunate to be going there just to shop, and not to pawn. Oooooh. That could be a song...I went to the pawn shop to shop not to pawn....or something. But I'm serious, folks, or folk, depening on how many of you are('nt) reading, it's deep, because you have to appreciate your good times and still be able to relate to the bad times, so you can take it all in stride, and not get too happy and have it all fall apart around you again, which I've pretty much mastered at this point. I never assume that it's all going to work out, but I also don't assume that everything sucks, and I actually have a lot of hope, even though right now I'm just a regular job robot dude.

So maybe the pawn shop is about hope. Well, it is sometimes, but remember all the people who lost it on the way out the do', yo.

Bow your head.

Pour out your 40's.

Shed a tear.

Now go to the pawn shop and buy some of their stuff, and try and justify it as them not selling their stuff in vain. Maybe we should boycott it. It would probably be nicer, but then those people would have an even harder time selling their shit. So yeah, lets keep going there. We're doing it for them. Yeah that's the ticket.

Pawn shop 'til you pawn drop. It's the only way to shop.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +