2004-07-21 | RETURN OF THE SHAQ

George Carlin, eat your heart out. Richard Pryor, go back to the drawing board. There's a new comic genius in town, specifically, Miami, and he's (re-)taking the world by storm, suckas.

At his press conference he tore shit up like an incontinent mental patient. (or G.G. Allin, take your pick) How is it that this guy is not renowned by everybody who owns a television? He is so fucking great, and he proved it by leaving the worst soap opera on t.v., a.k.a. the Lakers. Yo. He be talkin' mad smack about Kobe in his interviews and whut knott, but I don't blame him, bruddah, because he probably knows he won't be invited to the Kobe Bryant celebrity roast, so he's trying to get his one-liners in now while he can, so he can prove how much funnier than Gilbert Gottfried he is. (I actually like Gilbert Gottfried, but he's the kind of guy people are always making fun of, you heartless bastards)

So I'm warning you now, be ready when the empire Strikes Shaq, because Detroit's gonna get Pist On this year, when Miami makes Shaq-Fu's out of the rest of the league and soars to the NBA Finals and destroys the San Antonio Spurned.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +