2004-04-08 | LET GO

I'm watching yet another rendition of "God Bless America", and I feel that it is the perfect time to tell you that from the mountains to the prairies, Major League Baseball has started again, and it seems like I've seen almost every game possible when not at work, since the season has started, and that may be because MLB Extra Innings is having a free preview right now, and just like an ass to Hank Azaria's head, I'm stuck way up in it.

Endless hours of my time had already begun to be wasted before the season started because of my numerous fantasy baseball league drafts, and now it's being wasted watching actual games containing actual players who are on my non-actual teams.

And now I'm wasting time wondering what I will do with myself when this free-view is over, as if the ten games a week that are on normal tv aren't enough for my sad soul. WGN, TBS, ESPN, 2, FOX Sports Arizona, don't fail me now.....

But I've still got my silly fantasy teams. Believe me, I do understand how gay, and Dungeons and Dragonsy this all sounds, but I can't help it. I have a problem. Might as well face it, I'm addicted to GLOVE.

That's right, I said it.

The possibilities are endless with my fantasy teams. I can have a pitching staff full of guys who have had Tommy John surgery. Shit, I'd draft Tommy John if he was available.

I could draft an all injury team full of players who haven't tapped into their full potential, or whos stars have fallen faster than Jason Giambi's weight because their bones are as frail as Kate Moss's. First pick: Ken Griffey Jr.

I could make an all Balco team full of all players who are suspected of doing steroids, but I'm tired of all this fucking steroid talk, so I'm going to start a team full of players who could be suspected more of eating donuts and drinking soda than popping pills and getting juiced. 1B John Olerud...SS David Eckstein....SP David Wells

I scoff at people who say that sports don't matter until you get to the playoffs. That's one good thing about having a fantasy team. It always counts. But there are a million other reasons why baseball matters, even this early in the season.

It take's your mind off things.

It helps you nap during the summer time, when it's so hot that your air conditioner starts blowing water at you.

Then there's the early magic of teams that could end up being at the bottom of their divisions by the end of the season, if not the bottom of all of baseball.

But it doesn't matter.

Look at the Tigers. The Tigers are pure magic. You watch them play. You watch their eyes light up during a rally. You watch the pure unadulterated joy coming from the faces of the fans. They already have limited talent, then they lose a couple of their better players to injury, yet they still find a way to win. It's amazing. It doesn't matter what will happen later. Whatever happiness comes from these first few weeks or months or however long it lasts, will help. It will make them more hungry. It will make management eager to spend more money and make being a playoff team seem more urgent. The fans and the players will demand action, and sooner or later the Tigers won't be a laughing stock anymore. And right now they're not. They're starting to get some respect. As long as they're above or around .500 there will be hope, and hope springs eternal, and eventually hope will spring a World Series winner. Okay, maybe it won't do that, but it doesn't matter. Even if all this bliss lasts a couple of weeks, it goes a long way. People will believe. People will see that things can get better. And that's why baseball is important, even this early in the season. That's why sports are important. They give you hope. They make you dream. They show how you can achieve even when you don't have all the resources or talent.

Even if the Devil Rays are the worst team in baseball, they can beat the team with the most money and arguably the most talent on any given night, and already have twice this season.

So stop worrying about what every game means, and why you're watching them.

Just enjoy yourself.

And be happy for the losers, because for now they're winners.

The Tigers were losing 3-0 in the 6th inning, and now they're winning 10-4. I can't wipe this smile off my face. I'm not really a Tigers fan. I'm just a fan of baseball. And I'm a fan of feeling good.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +