2004-01-26 | STAY TUNED

I have a friend at work who doesn't have a tv in his house. And according to him he and his roommates like it better that way.

I never believe people who say they enjoy not watching or owning televisions. I believe that most of them are just trying to be cool, and the reason they're such miserable assholes sometimes is because they don't have something funny on tv to cheer them up.

What did you do...listen to 9/11? The O.J. Trial must've been really exciting to read about in that newspaper. Every time you see a cameo by Screech or Urkel you say "who are those guys?"

Some people who don't watch tv say "oh, I just go on the computer all day." So basically you're just using a different idiot box. You're going to warp your mind in different ways. You've found an alternative way to not blend in, not realizing that you actually are blending in. You know what? Stop worrying about everyone else and just get a t.v. already.

Have you fucking seen Curb Your Enthusiasm before? Most Extreme Elimination Challenge? Adult Swim? the Super Bowl? Chimp Channel? MTV 2? No wonder you're such a dumbass. TV can be educational, too. But forget all that noise. It's just good clean fun. If you need a reason for your childrens wick wack behavior, blame your television if you must. I think if I had murderous tendencies, I'd be more likely to kill from something I didn't see on tv, because if I didn't have a tv for a long period of time, I would probably kill someone.

Sure, there's a lot of crappy tv shows. But you have a lot of crappy friends, and you keep them. Clothes and you keep them. You've made a lot of crappy choices in your life and you've kept making them.

It's time to change the channel.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +