2004-01-23 | WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY TALKING ABOUT????

The latest in a long and seemingly neverending and continuous line of my favorite unknown musical artists becoming more and more....um...known, is none other than Sluggles and the mighty Atmosphere.

I don't know if he'll ever be bigger than all those individuals he spoke about in the past, but he'll be pretty big if he doesn't be careful.

First it was record reviews in SPIN and Rolling Stone, then it was feature articles in SPIN and other magazines, then it was appearances on Loveline and Jimmy Kimmel...then....who knows? The Grammys?

Don't get me wrong....I'm happy for him. I'm proud of him. I'm probably a little jealous of him. But Atmosphere used to be one of my things. My beautiful dirty little secrets.

Even Mr. Dibbs (a.k.a. Dr. Grumpenstein) was on Loveline. Eek.

Slug was saying that people have to stop telling their friends about his group because it's almost to the point of enough exposure, but I assume that he is too kind to turn down appearance offers, no matter how mainstream the outlet may be.

I respect him for that. He could easily pull a Fat Mike and boycott television and radio altogether. But shit....even Fat Mike was on Last Call with Carson Daly a couple months ago with Me First and the Gimme Gimme's. What's next? Pearl Jam on the Tonight Show?

Wow. Dibbs is one cool gangster. He can flip off the crowd. He can also tell Slug to move aside so he can stage dive. I love you Dibbs, but without Slug you're not eating as good. He was so cool that when I saw them in concert he threw a lit (or is it more correct or chic to say lighted?) cigarette at Sean. This was after he chased after two guys in the crowd who were fighting....so he could jump in.

Somebody who knows Dibbs personally would probably say that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but I have nothing to go off of but his actions, and most of his actions are not very pretty. So I guess god loves Dibbs.

But this was supposed to be about Slugmosphere. They're blowin' up.

If I'm ever lucky enough to be asked to perform on a talk show, I can't promise that I will be good, or that anyone will like me, but I do vow to do one thing.

Smile.

I just can't stand to think of all these 16 year olds in the crowd who just found out about Atmosphere because his most recent album had better distribution through Epitaph, and he walked in to Target with his mommy and saw his CD on display. And ever since then....like at least since October dude....he's been a huge Atmosphere fan. I'm not mad at Atmosphere for being well known. I'm mad at the way it happens sometimes. Like the wrong people get to hear it. The wrong people embrace it. Like those people who list their favorite bands and they put Nirvana and Puddle of Mudd right next to each other, and don't realize how ignorant they are being. I'm mad at girls liking Atmosphere because they think Sean is hot. I'm mad at people staying up all night so they can memorize the lyrics so they can sing...no yell...no scream at the top of their lungs, even occasionally drowning out the actual singers or rappers of their favorite groups.

I guess a lot of times I'm more upset because it happens so rapidly. One minute nobody knows them, the next minute everybody is in love with them. Everyone is talking about it, and half the time the person doesn't even know what or sometimes even who they're talking about. All they know is it's something to talk about and everyone else is doing it so they should too. It's a phenomenon. It's a fucking gimmick. A fucking bumper sticker.

In totally unrelated news, this Atkins diet thing is out of control. If you can't learn how to go on a diet and lose some weight without someone instructing you on how to do it, like you're some fucking robot, then you deserve to be fat. Okay...I bought that Dr. Phil book...but his book is logical. It's not a diet. They don't tell you what to do. They ask you about you and try to adapt to your lifestyle to try and save your life. He doesn't ask you to single out one thing and never eat it again. It's about realizm. Dr. Phil is real. Because he's fat too. But Atkins died last year and I wish his stupid diet plan would've died with him.

I'm coming off as a real asshole, but I don't care because I want you people to start thinking for yourselves and to stop listening to anyone who tells you what to do. It's okay to get advice, but as far as instruction goes, tell them to blow it out their asses.

I love you. That's why I'm trying to befriend you. We can beat them.

Whoever them are.

And I haven't even started doing anything that Dr. Phil says in his book. Usually I just start reading something like that and it helps me remember the resources I have within myself, that can help me achieve my goal. It's all in you. If you listened to Millencolin you would know that already. But your favorite magazine didn't tell you about them, so why would you buy it? Their not even like known or anything. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh yeah. I'm an idiot. It's stupid for me to hate some of this stuff, because if and when I'm in a band, I would like to be semi well known. I want to be successful. Most of all I want to make good music. But I'd be stupid to not want to make some decent money doing it. So I'll see you on the Jimmy Kimmel show in a few years. Maybe.

I'll be the one smiling.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +