2003-03-07 | "A MILLION SCREAMING OUTCASTS CAN'T BE WRONG"

Sometimes I laugh when people complain about their lives. Especially non-homeless Americans.

I mean, we could be living in a third world country.

I just met a guy from Belarus the other week, and he was so happy just to be in America. He doesn't have any money, but he's so happy. He doesn't complain. In his country an American dollar equals 3 million of his.

Then there are the things I've been through.

I've been penniless until my next pay check, dozens of times. And I always made it, without much of a struggle at all.

I lived on the streets of Las Vegas for 3 days in 1995. No money. Abandoned by my first love. Abandoned by my ex-roommate. Forgotten by both. No bed. No shower. And though I was probably pretty filthy, the experience was actually kind of cleansing.

My dad left when I was six years old, and it didn't even bother me that much. The only thing that bothered me was that my Mom was sad. Then the hurricane came, and we were lonely, and we were poor, and the electricity was out. And you know what? We made it. And my Mom never complained. And if it wasn't for her asshole first husband leaving her, she would've never started dating my step-father, who treated her like a queen. But I was never emotionally scarred by any of this. There were a few bumps along the way sure, but the ride was steadier then any vehicle I've ever been in. The obstacles didn't leave me sour for months or years. Usually the pain was gone in mere minutes.

My step-father passed away a couple of years ago, and I didn't go into depression. I used it as inspiration to be a better person. Just in case he's watching, I don't want to embarass him. I got over his death quickly. Sometimes that makes me feel guilty. Other times, like now it makes me proud. Proud that I'm able to bounce back so quickly. That nothing keeps me down for too long. That although I've had great support from family and friends, I've achieved a lot of things on my own as well.

I don't have a lot of money right now. But I've got a roof, and I eat o.k., and I've finally found the love of my life, and I've got so much to look forward to. I've got hope. And I can almost see success on the horizon.

But it was never really bad. That's the point. I'm not trying to say I made it against the odds. I'm trying to say that it wasn't a big deal. Nothing really is. Life can't be taken too seriously. Sometimes it's damaging if you invest too much into something.

Right now, on paper I don't have much going for me, yet I still feel like a success. Maybe because I know I will be, it saves me from the reality of not having much right now. But I'm happy, too. I've always been a little sad under the surface, but I've also always been a mostly happy-go-lucky person. Sometimes it takes people complaining to make me realize that I have it pretty good.

Hopefully I keep meeting people like this, so I can strive to be better then I am, and I can take comfort in the fact that I am already in a better place then they are.

I don't want to be better then everybody else, but I'd be a fool if I didn't like it when I find out that I am better then someone. It's nice to feel like a success, even on small levels. It's a nice starting point. It's nice to be inspired and influenced by yourself sometimes, rather then by others.

The key is getting an equal amount from both sides, and maintaining it.

So get over it people.

Your life isn't so bad.

It's not the end of the world.

Literally.

Have fun.

Peace.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +