2002-08-06 | TOP 5

I just saw High Fidelity for the umpteenth time, so I'm going to talk about ex-girlfriends, and I'm going to make a couple lists about them.

Actually, her.

I've only had pretty much one girlfriend before my current one. Part of that is because of the pain i suffered as a result of my last break-up. Tiffany is number 1-5 on my worst break-up list.

I haven't seen her for more then 6 years, and I still think about her a lot, and how much time I wasted dwelling on our breakup and wondering "why", much like Rob Gordon does in High Fi. I don't know why I think about her so much. I guess because I invested so much time and love in trying to make our relationship work. I was so happy and in love with her, but it could've been so much fucking better.

Of course, none of that matters now, but for some reason I still think about it from time to time. It's nice to finally be over her, though. It's nice to have some positivity circulating through my veins right now, and it's very cool to have someone to be nice to, and to have them appreciate it. What a concept. Mutual admiration. You should try it.

Top 5 things I miss about Tiffany:

5. Her passion and intensity, in her touch, and in her eyes. Not to mention her seductive manner.

4. The way she was when she wasn't worried about novel bullshit. When she was being a free spirit. She had some guts. She would be up for doing all kinds of strange things. The type to just want to take a cross country road trip out of the blue.

3. Her voice. She had an interesting way of saying things, and an interesting accent, and an exciting vocabulary.

2. We had a lot in common. We liked pretty much all the same bands, and all the same movies.

1. Her sense of humor. She understood, and laughed at all my jokes. She was very funny as well.

Top 5 things I DON'T miss about Tiffany

5. Pretending I wasn't her boyfriend on certain days.

4. Using my inexperience against me. Telling me I didn't know what love was, and telling me I wasn't ready to make love to her. Things like that. Treating me like a child.

3. Dwelling on the past. Instead of taking the positive elements of the present. Not letting me help. I really want the people I love to be happy. Even before I am. It means so much to me for them to be happy. It makes me happy.

2. She was always looking for something different. I was too nice. Or I was really sweet, but not dangerous enough. She knows that I could've been the best thing that ever happened to her, but she would only acknowledge it when it was too late.

1. Her dishonesty. She wasn't a totally dishonest person, but she would hide things from me, and I'm glad I don't know what things, but I just know she was hiding a lot. Shit, I can't even track her down. I think she gave me a fake last name. She's a strange one. I just can't stand when you're supposed to be close with somebody, and they can't be straightforward.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +