2002-04-03 | STAY LO

Sorry. This entry might be all over the place. I'm looking at a piece of paper that has a bunch of random thoughts I write down while I'm watching lame television. Hopefully it's not too crazy for you to enjoy.

Most network TV is absolute crap. I hate sitcoms. I hate fake fucking laugh tracks. I hate bad writing. I hate the amount of plagerism and unoriginality there is in sitcom land. I would love to be on a sitcom for a couple years though. Probably one of the easiest jobs you'd ever have. And the money you make is amazing.

Dudley Moore and Milton Berle died. It's sad, but I'll miss Dudley alot more. I grew up on the guy. Who from generation x doesn't remember Arthur? Some people even call Dudley Moore "Arthur". They don't even know his real name. Whenever I hear his name I always think ALCOHOL. Not just because of his real life alcoholism, but in Arthur he was so great as a drunk. I also think of Christopher Cross, who I love, (sorry) because of his contribution to Arthur. "When you get lost between the world and New York City...I know it's crazy, but it's true...." Gotta love that song.

Milton Berle? I'll remember him for being an asshole at the MTV Movie Awards with Ru Paul, not being able to handle "her" comebacks. He was a pioneer in the TV industry though, and we must thank him for that. Alot of the great and crappy shows we love today, probably wouldn't be in existence without him.

Have you seen E!'s new commercials? They're really funny. One is "Will" from Will and Grace in the kitchen, cooking, waiting for somebody to come over, and he's doing an awesome Marlon Brando impersonation, and he even puts the orange peel in his mouth like Brando did before he collapsed in the Godfather Part II. In the middle of the dead-on impersonation, the door-bell rings and he abruptly stops to go answer it.

In the other ad, Dustin Hoffman is looking at his wrinkles in the mirror, and apparently starts getting nostalgic, and rembering his non-wrinkled days. He does a line from The Graduate while pulling his skin back to hide the blemishes. Then he dons his "Dorothy" voice from TOOTSIE and says something like "you don't need any make-up, you look fine, no...." and keeps muttering in that great voice as he walks away from the camera's view.

Some shows I'd like to see re-runs of. Of course I've seen them all before, but it's been awhile for some.

WEBSTER

SMALL WONDER

BOSOM BUDDIES

FAT ALBERT

FREAKS AND GEEKS

WHAT'S HAPPENING

GET A LIFE

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WITH ALLEN HAVEY

FAMOUS TEDDY Z

HERMANS HEAD

JOANIE LOVES CHACHI

DENNIS MILLER (OLD LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW)

YO MTV RAPS

REMOTE CONTROL

120 MINUTES (THE OLD ONES)

HEADBANGERS BALL

RIPTIDE

DOOGIE HOWSER

SAVED BY THE BELL THE COLLEGE YEARS

WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW

ALICE

JEFF FOXWORTHY (I ACTUALLY LIKED THIS ONE. SOME OF THESE ARE JOKES, BUT THIS ONE I TRULY LOVED, HONEST)

SOAP

BEN STILLER SHOW

TOM GREEN

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD

THE HEAD

COMICS ONLY

DAILY SHOW (THE OLD ONES WITH KILBORN)

DR. KATZ

HEE HAW

- premature ejaculation | tantra +