2004-10-26 | THE WINNERS LOSE IT ALL SOMEDAY

Now is the time I tell you about my week in Vegas, but first let me tell you who has contribute to the book in the last couple days.

Alonzo Bodden, the winner of the third season of Last Comic Standing, and the lovely and talented Kim Shattuck of the Muffs were beautiful enough to send me lists of their favorite things. Thanks guys.

The plane ride to Las Vegas was rough for me. I got motion sickness like usual. The first plane was a really small one to Phoenix. When we got to Phoenix we waited to board the next plane to Vegas for about 20 minutes, and at one point we heard the lady at our gate request an "N. Gingrich" to approach the counter. My girlfriend then joked that it would be funny if it were actually Newt Gingrich. A couple minutes later I saw a dude out of the corner of my eye that resembled Sir Newt, but for some reason, I thought nothing of it. I was probably too groggy. Then he walked right in front of us, and we both looked at each other with a "that is him" look. So we were on a plane with Newt Gingrich, who sat in first class, of course. Neither of us is a fan of Newt, but like we were saying, even if you hate someone famous, when you see them in public it's still kind of exciting. You could see O.J. in public and be like "Whoa, O.J.!"

When we finally got to Vegas, we had to wait a couple of hours before we checked in, so we killed time by eating breakfast and trying to avoid the rain.

When we finally checked into the hotel room, we lied around for awhile, and a couple hours later we ordered room service. We were supposed to see Tom Jones that night, but we were both feeling a little under the weather that night, so we watched the 7th game of the ALCS instead.

The second day, I called my mom for breakfast, but she had a hangover, so Stephanie and I went by ourselves. After breakfast I walked over to a Wheel of Fortune slot machine for my first dose of gambling. After about 5 minutes I won over 750 dollars. Then I went home and slept some more. After dinner I went to another Wheel of Fortune machine at a different hotel and won 500 dollars. I couldn't believe it. I never have luck like that. I felt so fortunate. But of course I screwed it up somehow, and left Vegas with a lot less than that. But at least I left Vegas without spending a dime of any money I had before I went there. I don't even remember how I lost so much of the money I won. I guess it just adds up. So I recommend winning money somewhere near the end of your trip and not at the beginning, because it's hard not to spend it. I gambled a few more times, but I don't remember losing that much. But I did buy a lot of meals, and some clothes at an outlet mall.

Most days we stayed near downtown, but one day we went up to the strip. We wanted to see the shark tank at Mandalay Bay, but after walking all the way down there, we realized there was a fee and a huge line, so we decided against it. We walked over to New York and had some mexican food. Then we went to the Aladdin, because my girlfriend is addicted to Sephora.

Most of the time there we just ate and slept, I guess, but we had a good time doing it.

If I'm ever lucky enough to win that much money again, I promise I'll try harder to hold on to more of it.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +