2004-03-16 | A BIRD IN THE HATCH IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH

I was watching a little Jimmy Kimmel tonight and Richard Hatch from Survivor was on. (the naked gay guy) He was talking about gay marriage, and his upcoming marriage to a man, and he mentioned that he met George Bush. So I imagined what their meeting was like. Then I imagined what it would be like if they instant messaged each other. Of course Bobby Burgess already had this idea with Osama and Bush, but hey, what can I say. Not all of my ideas are absolute originals. Hope you at least somewhat enjoy it. It was a lot funnier in my head than what it came to be on paper.

NudeIslanderWhat's up big boy?

YouSaidBushMommy?

NudeIslanderHuh?

YouSaidBushOh....my mom calls me that. I mean...um nevermind

NudeIslanderWhat are you doing?

YouSaidBushChecking out ratemypoop.com. It's awesome!!

NudeIslanderUm.....What are you wearing?

YouSaidBushI'm wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm With Stupid" on it.

NudeIslanderOh...Lol. That's kind of ironic huh?

YouSaidBushOh yeah..Lol. Um...I don't get it.

NudeIslanderOh...You know...irony? Like a lot of people think YOU'RE stupid so....

YouSaidBushNo, I mean...I don't get what the shirt means. It's not mine anyway. I borrowed it from my wife.

NudeIslanderOh....so not ironic at all.

YouSaidBushYeah...um..I don't get it.

NudeIslanderAnyway...

YouSaidBushWhat are YOU wearing?

NudeIslanderNothing but my birthday suit.

YouSaidBushYou said 'but'. lol. Oooh....sounds nice. But you're going to have to be more specific

NudeIslanderNo dumbass...

YouSaidBushMom?

Huh?

YouSaidBushOh...nevermind...

NudeIslanderI'm naked.....

YouSaidBushMake up your mind, weirdo.

NudeIslanderNo, seriously...

YouSaidBushYeah? a/s/l?

NudeIslanderActually, I know you...

YouSaidBushNekkid, Nekkid, Nekkid. N-E-K-K-I-D. Woo-hoo!!!

NudeIslanderYes, I'm naked. Hooray.

YouSaidBushHooray for boobies.

NudeIslanderSo, do you know who I am?

YouSaidBushI don't know any naked people.

NudeIslanderWhat? I mean...that doesn't make sense in so many different ways...But, you've at least seen your wife naked haven't you?

YouSaidBushYeah a couple times, but that don't count. Kinda like seeing your mama naked.

NudeIslanderYou've seen your mom naked?

YouSaidBushUm. Yeah...I mean no...um...shut up.

NudeIslanderSorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

YouSaidBushIt's okay. I just don't like to talk about it.

NudeIslanderSo you have seen it?

YouSaidBushSeen what.

NudeIslanderNevermind.

YouSaidBushSo what's your name sweet cheeks? And where do I know you from.

NudeIslanderI'll give you a hint. "Survivor"

YouSaidBushUm.....oooh....It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge

Of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And his fortune must always be

Eye.........of the tiger!!! Sylvester Stallone?

NudeIslanderNo, moron. Think TV Show

YouSaidBushOoh...Saved by the Bell? Dustin Diamond...I've always wanted to meet you but I don't think we've had the pleasure

NudeIslanderI'm not Screech. Think TV Show AND Survivor...

YouSaidBushThis is hard. brb

NudeIslanderk.

YouSaidBushOk. I'm back.

NudeIslanderDid you have to go to the bathroom or something?

YouSaidBushWell...First I was thinking, then my brain started to hurt, so I went to get a glass of water, then my wife yelled at me for wearing her shirt and then she made me take out the trash. Bitch.

NudeIslanderDo you know who I am yet?

YouSaidBushI give up.

NudeIslanderThis is Richard Hatch

YouSaidBushDick-Hatch. roflmao

NudeIslanderShut up.

YouSaidBushDick-Hatch, Dick-Hatch, Dick-Hatch. Lol

NudeIslanderGrow up dickwad.

YouSaidBushHow you been there buddy? Still gay?

NudeIslanderNo, I suddenly became straight after dealing with men like you

YouSaidBushWhatever I can do to help, ese

NudeIslanderI was being sarcastic

YouSaidBushWhatever.

NudeIslanderAnyway...I just wanted you to know that I'm getting married.

YouSaidBushEwwww. To another dude?

NudeIslanderYeah, with or without your blessing.

YouSaidBushWell, you know I dig you and all, but I can't support the whole marrying a guy thing.

NudeIslanderYeah I figured :(

YouSaidBushI mean, I married a guy once, but I was on cocaine at the time. What's your excuse?

NudeIslanderJust love, Mr. President.

YouSaidBushMr. President? Call me George. My wife calls me Mr. President.

NudeIslanderUm...doesn't everybody call you that?

YouSaidBushWell yeah, but my wife says it all sexy, like "you like that, Mr. President?" Or she says it all mean, like when I forget to do something she's like "Way to go, 'Mr. President'.", all sarcasmic-like, and she uses those annoying quotation marks with her hands.

NudeIslanderWell, I'm in love, and I'm getting married

YouSaidBushIt ain't all about love, baby. Sometimes it's just about that sweet poon-tang!!

NudeIslanderWell for me it is all about love.

YouSaidBushWhatever floats your boat, Sally.

NudeIslanderYou're invited if you ever decide to get over this whole anti-gay marriage thing.

YouSaidBushWell, I'll keep that in mind. Now you keep this in mind: You're invited to Wrestlemania XX at my house, if you ever decide to get over this whole being gay thing.

NudeIslanderAint' gonna happen.

YouSaidBushYour loss, Tinkerbell. Lol.

NudeIslanderYeah, good one 'Mr. President'.

YouSaidBushThank you.

NudeIslanderI was being sarcastic.

YouSaidBushWhatever. And it's 'sarcasmic', genius.

NudeIslanderg2g. My husband is calling me.

YouSaidBushYeah, me too.

NudeIslanderYou're husband is calling you?

No, I mean....shut up, Richard.

NudeIslanderWhat are you Tommy Boy now?

YouSaidBushThat movie is awesome!!

NudeIslanderttyl

YouSaidBushadios

NudeIslandersayonara

YouSaidBush"Onara"

NudeIslanderHuh?

YouSaidBushYou said "Say Onara"

NudeIslanderYou're an idiot.

YouSaidBushYou're gay.

NudeIslanderExactly.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +