2003-07-18 | RELEASE THE HOUNDS

Some people say "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone", and even though the grammar is poor, in some situations it is absolutely true.
But at other times, you don't know what is gone until you have it. You don't know somebody is gone until you get closer to them. In other words, you don't know how lost they are. How empty. You wonder what drew you to them in the first place. Some things, as well as people, are best when used in small doses.
THey also say "if you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be." I've let many people go, and most of them never came back. And when they did, they confirmed what I already knew to be true, which was that they were the ones that screwed everything up. And usually when they return they even do that in a fucked up manner. They come at the worst possible time, or when it's already too late. You've already found somebody else, had a sex change, or decided you're going to be celibate for the rest of your life. Or you've joined the circus. And usually if you really love someone-pretending doesn't count-there is no conceivable reason you would want to let them go. It's just what your "friends" tell you to do when you're getting dumped. It's a nice way of saying, "get over it dude. She wants Brad Pitt, and you look more like Ned Beatty. It aint gonna happen."
Love may be a many splendored thing, but the heart is a many blendered thing. I've had my heart stomped on more times than an arrest-resisting citizens head by an LAPD boot. And by creatures I thought were so delicate. When it comes down to it, we can all be vicious animals.
I don't know what's making me think of this, except for the massive tools I work with, because life is pretty good right now. I finally know who I can trust, and who to leave in the dust. I'm just about as happy as I've been in forever, and things should only get better. I'm just talking about shit in general, and warning those of you who have yet to reach these unwelcome destinations, and bringing back some bittersweet memories for those of you who have frequent "dier" miles, because you've been there and back more times than you care to remember.
Those memories will always be with us, whether we want them to be or not (i think part of us wants them there and vice versa), to remind us of how good things are now, or that nothing is sacred or perfect, and to learn from our mistakes, and to make other people miserable by telling them our horror stories, and make them better people in the process, without even trying, because they see how wrecked we are, and consciously change their whole approach to relationships with friends and lovers.
Plus it's boring talking about good stuff all the time. That's what makes the positives taste so sweet. When you've had a happy feeling drought for so long, any little step in the right direction quenches your thirst, and when it comes in bunches, it can even cure you. And the reason it takes so long to get over things, is because you truly never do. It's always with you. As a guide. A painful reminder, but a most excellent tutor. And great conversation pieces.
Talking about it really is the best thing. Shutting down completely just contributes to it more. Plus it makes you seem like your akin to those assholes that brought us down in the first place.
Let go.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +