2003-07-10 | I'M STILL YOUNG, AND I'D LIKE TO STAY THAT WAY

How can a person change so much in a months time?

This is going to sound like some bitter entry, but it's not. It's just me asking questions, and making points, and wondering why, etc.

You meet somebody and you think you've found a peer on all levels. They get your jokes, they like the same music as you, they have the same views as you on pretty much any topic.

Then you don't see them for a couple weeks, and like the Flaming Lips said, "...Suddenly....everything has changed.."

In this situation it's understandable, because the man in question is only 20 years old, and although I was pretty mature at that age, I understand that most kids that age are just that-they're still kids. They haven't matured emotionally yet. They think they know it all but they haven't experienced shit.

But in this situation it's also more annoying, because he has been influenced mostly by people either his age or just a year or two older, and has seemed to leave the guidance of some lame "old" dude like me (27) in the dust.

He has picked up all the habits of a goddamn different work crew. It's silly that there even is such a thing. We all work in the same place, yet the AM and PM crew are like night and day. Of course that sounds stupid, because they work at night and day, respectively, but we all do pretty much the same exact job. Why would one crew be primadonnas (PM) and the other be mostly nice, laid back people.

Maybe PM crew stands for Primadonna Crew?

I mean these young guys that work at night, they're so funny, because they think they actually have something to offer to the world, yet they are so in the dark about what goes on beyond their little narrow-minded, girl-chasing worlds. All they talk about is girls, and most of them don't have one, and most have never even had a meaningful relationship with a woman, EVER.

But I am so upset at the one individual who has suddenly become one of THEM. What a way to go out, out like a sucka.

That's so weak. Was he looking for something better than the respect of another human being? Did he want more than emotional and conversational stimulation?

Maybe he wants to be young and not think about responsibility.

Maybe I was too grounded for him. Maybe I made too much sense.

He still shows flashes of brilliance, but it's overpowered by all the bullshit.

It hurts. Not bad at all. It just adds to the hurt that is the ignorance of the majority of the human race.

Just another brick in the wall.

It's funny. I feel like I have to get "over" something that the other individual doesn't even think is happening. At least I didn't become a really close friend to this person before they slipped away. I don't feel the responsibility to hold on as his greasy palms seperate from my generous grip.

So now I move on.

And he continues to walk backwards.

Aloha.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +