2003-03-28 | DESTRUCTION CREW

Two construction men entered the bar at 7:30 pm.

At approximately 7:45, they ordered a pitcher of Coors Light. Some pretzels came with the order.

At 8:15, one of the men complained about the pretzels being too salty and began to choke. He entered the restroom shortly thereafter.

After about 15 minutes, he still hadn't returned. His friend became suspicious. He attempted to enter the restroom, but the door was locked.

He informed the bartender, who seemed to be unconcerned. In a heavy southern accent, he said "Don't worry about it, boy....he probably just don't wanna be bothered", as he lackadaisically chewed on his tobacco.

After about ten minutes passed, the barkeep got tired of arguing and finally let his friend in.

The door closed behind him as he called for his friend. "Jimmy!....Jimmy? You in here, man?.....Where the fuck are you?" There was no sight (or sound) of "Jimmy" anywhere.

He walked back into the bar, but to his shock, there was nobody there. He looked under some tables and chairs, then behind the bar, but the place was completely empty.

When he walked back into the restroom, there was still no sign of Jimmy or anyone else, but there was a streak of blood on the floor, and it led all the way to the window. Startled, he ran back towards the bar, but the bathroom door was now locked.

He walked around the restroom nervously, trying to gather his thoughts.

After a few minutes of pacing, he wiped his sweaty brow and decided to exit through the window of the restroom.

The window was locked, so he tied his dirty, sweat-soaked work shirt around his fist, and punched through the glass.

When he hit the ground, he approached his Ford pickup truck, which was still perfectly intact, except for the fact that all his tools had been taken from the back.

He searched the lot reluctantly, looking for any signs of life....or death for that matter. He didn't know what to expect at this point.

At about 9:30, he re-entered the bar and it was now full of all the people that were in there earlier, and each one of them was now holding one of his assorted tools, and wearing angry, suspicious looks on their faces.

But to his surprise, they slowly moved out of his way, clearing a direct path to the restroom door.

On his slow, uncomfortable stroll to the door, he noticed that the bartender was nowhere to be found among the crowd of people, but more importantly, Jimmy was still missing, too.

He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. In the far corner, next to the garbage can, he saw Jimmy standing over the bartender with a socket wrench.

The bartender was covered in blood, and lay there motionless.

"Is he dead?", he asked Jimmy, who was shaking.

There was no answer.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he seemed to yell to nobody in particular.

The partrons slowly entered the doorway area of the bathroom, and one of them said "...Bartender there tried to kill 'em..."

Another one yelled out "I don't know what's going on here either, man."

Jimmy started to whisper "We've got history..."

As police and ambulance sirens neared, Jimmy began to explain:

"I didn't recognize him at first, but a few years ago, I was fixing up this guys house, me and a few other guys, and the day before we were done, somebody came by late at night, and decided to light his house on fire. Nobody really knew what happened, and nobody had a motive, but he was convinced that we had something to do with it, and since I was the last person he saw that day, he accused me, and tried to take me to court, but he had no evidence of anything. I guess he recognized me a lot sooner then I recognized him tonight, and decided to get some revenge."

As he finished his explanation, the police busted through the crowd of people instructing them to "move out of the fucking way", then telling everybody to drop their "weapons".

Jimmy was taken in for questioning, but was later released after everybody at the bar went along with his story.

A couple days later the mother of the bartender was contacted by the police department.

She informed them that her son had just been served with divorce papers earlier that day.

"Ever since the fire, everything has fallen apart for him, and he blamed it all on that poor construction worker."

And sadly, according to the police, he also started taking it out on his wife.

In a strange twist, Jimmy began bartending at the "scene of the crime" a few weeks later.

When he was informed that the bar was in danger of going out of business in the wake of recent events, Jimmy felt partly responsible.

His friend visits him every night after work.

He still orders a pitcher of Coors Light, but he never eats the pretzels.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +