2003-03-02 | RAMBLESESSIONS #8,007,492

Would you call christian rock band groupies Bible-humpers?

I ensist on eating Spaghetti with super long noodles, instead of breaking them up. It just seems to taste better that way. But then I always end up getting spaghetti sauce all over the place, and I have to wipe my goatee (actually, it's called a "Van Dyke". Goatees don't have mustaches connecting to the beard) after each bite. Gross.

I haven't been to a 4 or 5 star restaurant yet that has completely blown me away. I haven't found one that I enjoy much more then eating at a buffet, which is one of the greatest inventions of all time, or my own cooking, which isn't even that extensive.

If you've lost your mind how do you really know? Your mind probably knows that it's lost it's head, or the rest of the body, but your body and head would be clueless.

It's funny when religious people protest war, because more wars have been fought over religion then any other reason.

Nuclear winter is a bad title. It sounds too cosy. They should find a darker name for something that bad.

Old people have always hated the younger generations, throughout the course of history. Dead people hate the elderly people. George Washington thinks Dubya is an ignorant young whipper-snapper. Adam and Eve must hate everybody.

Since i've had a live-in girlfriend, i've noticed that the questions "are you sleeping?" and "are you awake?" are only answered about half the time. Are you asleep? is one of those questions the sleeper gets technical on, too. When they wake up as your asking them that question, they say no, and they pretend they were nowhere near asleep, even though they can barely speak because they're so exhausted. Both questions seem dumb when the person is fast asleep, because they obviously can't answer either one of those, Although they always do answer it, in a way, when you think about it.

Sometimes the best friends are the one's you can't count on, because there are no strings attatched, and they'll never get clingy, and you'll never be disappointed if they ignore you. You both ignore each other when you need to, and the perfect non-friend will only be available when you want to be, and not be when you're not.

People are so pathetic and predictable, and non-individuals nowdays, that "the bandwagon" is now a cavalcade of Greyhound busses, full of babbling idiots, who have no clue about anything worth knowing.

I think it's hilarious when assholes tell you that you need better self- esteem. If it wasn't for people like them, it wouldn't even be an issue.

I always thought that dense was a weird word for stupid people. it sounds like they've actually absorbed knowledge, when you use that word.

Another weird one-- people who don't drive fast are called "leadfoot". I always thought of lead as a heavy metal, which would make it easier for their foot to accelarate, were it made of it.

People who have never lied on a resume probably don't need a resume. The ones who have become pros at it don't need them either, but sometimes they need an alibi. People who used to lie on resumes but have stopped, are kidding themselves, and are really boring. I don't mean lying about work history. I've never done that. But if you don't lie about your work ethic, you're either a lazy person with no brains, or a hard working person with bad closing skills.

I never felt comfortable talking about fucking pillows and beds while growing up, until I heard Ghostface Killah talk about it. Thank you, Tony Starks. "Everybody talkin 'bout Wu-Tang frontin' but you still tellin' lies to me."

- premature ejaculation | tantra +