2003-02-22 | SAID TOO MUCH/HAVEN'T SAID ENOUGH

Is there a Hallmark card for forgetting someones..........existence?

You know those people you used to be sort of friends with for a while? The ones who you agreed to go out with without thinking before you said yes. Then when they come to your house you pretend you didn't hear the door knock. Or those people you were supposed to keep in touch with, but then you moved to Las Vegas. California. Oregon. Arizona.

Actually, some people you forget on purpose.

Every once in a while, I remember a person who I lost touch with accidentally. Someone who I was really tight with for a while, then it just ended. And I wonder what happened, because I had such a good time with them, and then all of a sudden, they were gone.

Then I wonder if maybe the reason it felt so good was because it lasted for such a short time.

It never got to that awkward stage.

But then I come to a realization, that maybe I'm also a would-be recipient of one of those imaginary Hallmark forgotten existence cards.

I treat guy friends like most men treat women. Sometimes when they get too close, I push them away.

With women, I've always wanted to keep close with them, and I've always fallen in love with my female friends.

That's when they push me away. All the way to the friend zone.

Women hate men who act that way, but they don't think about the times then they do it. It seems that each girl that I tried to love, would keep me behind glass forever.

They don't think they're contradicting themselves by picking up attributes that they claim to hate in their male counterparts. They just think, "he was too clingy". "I don't have the time to be flattered/spoiled/loved/appreciated." (by someone who doesn't look like Brad Pitt)

I guess they just want something in the middle.

Nah, they don't know what they want half the time.

Actually, a lot of the girls didn't put me in the friend zone.

Most of them put me in the "uncomfortable friend" category, which pretty much means you will never have more then a 5 second conversation with them ever again.

Being shunned completely is a lot easier then being in the actual friend zone.

The initial pain is worse, but it goes away faster. When you're in the friend zone, your pain will last for months, or even years, because you still have to hug them, and hear their voices, and they tell you how great you are, and of course, the most painful dagger-they ask you for relationship advice.

The most non-sensible, ignorant act, female friends will use on us.

They don't want us to be their boyfriend, but they want us to tell them why their boyfriend sucks.

When you're in this stage of the friend zone, you practically cry yourself to sleep every night.

After masturbating while calling out her name, of course.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +