2003-02-22 | LUCA

My friend Luca and I used to drive around Lanikai Beach in Kailua, Hawaii, and just listen to great music and make fun of people, and just enjoy life.

One time we saw an old pick-up truck with a sticker relating to Jesus. Can't remember exactly what it said. Jesus is Lord or something like that.

Luca and I had this idea that we should buy a bunch of Deicide stickers, and put them over every sticker we could find that said Jesus on it. Then it would say "Deicide is Lord", etc. For those of you that don't know, Deicide is this devil worshipping death metal band.

We weren't devil worshippers or Jesus haters. We just thought that the thought of a guy coming to his pick-up and seeing that, would be funny. It would be even funnier if you could see their faces. I bet they wouldn't look so religious at that point.

We should've done it. It would've been funny if we did it to a bunch of cars, because eventually it would hit the news that a cult of satan worshipping teenagers were putting evil stickers over holy ones. And the town would be on "alert".

Anyway, a few years later, poor Luca had a nervous breakdown and he was never the same.

He's kind of back to normal now, but he's not as fun, and he kind of pretends to be something he's not, and he's a lot more fidgety and neurotic.

When he had his breakdown, our friend Matt, who was nicknamed Fabio without his consent, because of his long blonde mane, visited him, and Luca had been writing nonsense in this notebook. Most of it was scribble, but scattered throughout were lines like "kill me", and "i am the devil", and stuff like that.

Lucas dad blamed Matt for letting Luca smoke pot.

He stormed into Coconut Grove Music, the guitar shop that Matt used to work at, and started accusing Matt.

"What was in that pot? I know all about you guys smoking that stuff, man. You can level with me. I used to smoke doobies back in the day."

Matt was just like "what are you talking about, dude? It was just pot. You're an idiot."

Then Luca's dad was like "I'll get to the bottom of this you pesky kids!"

Or something like that.

There was another rumor I heard about Luca's demise.

At some point he had sent a letter to Marilyn Manson, who was his favorite band at the time, and told Manson himself, "You are my god".

Apparently the band wrote back to him, and told him to shape up, and stop listening to their music, and shut up, and stop writing them, and to stop taking things so seriously.

As one of the band members once told Guitar World, "Marilyn Manson is a 'rubber chicken' band", and Luca thought the whole time that they were authentic, free range poultry.

Apparently when they wrote him back with their angry letter, dissing his ignorance, it started his downward spiral.

Oops! Don't even get me started on his Trent Reznor addiction.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +