2003-01-25 | YOU SAID COCK

Hey MEG. I was looking through some of my old entries last night, and was surprised to find an entry about roaches as well. I thought it was ironic. Not like Alannis. More like Fred Savage in Goldmember ironic:

So...last night i was shaving and stuff before i went out for the evening to do nothing except drive around Waikiki for 2 hours, and i looked up on the wall and there was this baby cockroach just sitting there on the wall seemingly stunned. Don't ask me why, but I started analyzing all this idiotic stuff. I wondered if it was being chased by a gecko, and the gecko and him decided to cooperate and stop while the crazy human was doing his thing. I started thinking about how animals get terrified sometimes when they see us. Usually I get terrified. I'm a wuss. I can't stand roaches or lizards... yuck. I can't stand anything. Little bugs and spiders and roaches are okay because they're easier to get rid of. But when they get big like the 747 roaches and the huge lizards, that's when i cower like a little girlie man. But, anyway, I started thinking about these bugs and how they get all still sometimes when they see us, kinda like the deer in headlights effect. After all the weird shit that's been going on i wondered if the animals knew about it. Had they heard about how crazy humans are, too? Have they always known it? Kind of like planet of the apes. They think we're the disgusting pests, invading their serene world. Do they have little tv sets in the walls, or do they get the vibrations through the fibers of it all? Do they stand behind me and watch with me? Do they listen to the radio at work? Do they know what's conspiracy and what's true? Do the afghanistan insects believe that americans are the evil minds destroying the universe? I don't really have a point i think. I was just thinking about how animals hate humans just like other countries hate america. But alot of humans hate animals, too. Unfortunately too many americans hate as well. This one comedian was talking about people worried about a new nazi regime in germany. I think it may have been Jeff Scesario. He was saying something like "Fuck, Germany. I've been to Iowa. Trust me.... the largest nazi population is right here in the good ol' U.S.A." Well.... i dislike lizards and roaches in my house, but i don't hate them. Let's just get that straight. No, no..... Okay, I do hate them. I'm sorry. But boy do i love llamas. Cornbread.... ain't nothin' wrong with cornbread. Love, the distinguished Jonathan Pebblestone (prime minister of pork chops)

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