2002-12-17 | Morrissey in a headlock/ Wu Rankings

I saw the video for "Alaska" by Eyes Adrift early yesterday morning. I was excited to see it, although there were some disturbing scenes.

Bud from Sublime (who is one of the nicest people in rock and roll who I have met in person) looks like Corky from Life Goes On or something. His hair is like what we call in Hawaii "a rice bowl haircut". Looks like they put a bowl on his head and just shaved around it. Sloppy bangs, and straight. And he's wearing these giant goggles that make him look even more "special". I don't know if he's trying to distance himself from the Sublime crowd, or what. If he is, it may just be working.

And Krist Novoselic still has his giant, crazy, taliban-like beard. He has a fucking pompadour on his chin.

It looks like he has Morrissey in a headlock.

Curt Kirkwood looks great, though. Still the same, even after all the drugs. From what I hear, Chris Kirkwood is doing enough drugs for both Meat bros. now days.

Despite all the disturbances, I thought it was a very enjoyable video. (4 stars)

You gotta love Nappy Roots. I mean they're from mother fucking Kentucky. That's just great.

They're showing "Bring the Pain" on MTV2 right now.

When this video first came out, Method Man was still cool.

Soon after, he performed this song live as a boxers ring entrance music in the "film" The Great White Hype, and that's where his downslide began.

His cameo appearance in Copland made him a little cool, again for a second, but a few years later, his collaboration with the fabulous Bizkit boys, then a "film" called How High with the great thespian Reggie "Redman" Noble, and a deodorant commercial, marked etched him permanently in the uncool column, especially for a Wu-Tang member.

Here's the current order of coolness for Wu-Tang Members and affiliates, from first to worst.

1. Ghostface Killah aka Ironman aka Tony Starks (His last two albums are incredible, and his new one will probably be the same) essential albums: Supreme Clientele; Bulletproof Wallets

2. RZA aka Bobby Digital aka The Abbott(His Bobby Digital albums are often overlooked, and a lot of my friends don't get him, but they don't get a lot of stuff. His style is very distinctive, and enjoyable to me. I love his cadence.) essentials: his 2nd Bobby Digital album; great guest vocals on Supreme Clientele;

3. Killarmy (Why RZA doesn't have some of these guys do vocals on the Wu-Tang albums more often is beyond me. They have lots of talented lyricists in the collective, and they have the rawness of early Wu-Tang albums.) essentials: all 3 of their albums

4. Ol' Dirty Bastard aka Big Baby Jesus aka Dirt Megirt (c'mon it's ODB! Pure entertainment. Free ODB, Free ODB...) essentials: Return of the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version; Nigga Please

5. GZA aka Genius (He edges out Rae because he hasn't had an album as horrible as Immobilarity yet. I'm looking forward to hearing the new LP. Plus he has one of the best acronymical song titles ever-B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)) essential: Liquid Swords

6. Raekwon aka the Cheff (he used to be number 1, at one point, but the last album was awful. He still has one of my favorite personalities in the group though. He's really great at talking, too, not just rapping.) essential: Only Built 4 Cuban Linx

7. Cappadonna (he would be higher on this list, but he has apparently-last time I heard-had a bit of a falling out with the WU.) essential: the Pillage

8. Inspectah Deck a.k.a. Rebel I.N.S. (His first solo album was good, but it wasn't a classic. He may be the most commercially accessible member)

9. Masta Killa (He would be higher, but he still doesn't have a solo album yet that I know of. He's one of the coolest looking members in the group. Very dapper)

10. Method Man aka Johnny Blaze (He would be lower, but he still does cool guest vocals now and then, and he shook my hand when he was on stage one time, and made eye contact with me. I like that sort of thing.)

11. UGod aka Golden Arms(I like his attitude, so it hurts putting him this low, but he has some stiff competition within the group.)

12. La the Darkman (Has not yet tapped his potential)

98. Shyheim (I don't get it....)

99. Killah Priest (How could you fucking leave the WU? As Arnold S. would say "Beeeg Meestake")

thanks for reading.

P.S. Does anybody remember the lanky, unenthusiastic comedian Fred Stoller? I love him. But now he's on a 7 Eleven radio commercial about hot dogs. Odd.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +