2002-12-13 | OLD FARM/FRESH START

So much for logistics bringing me down.

I am so excited to be with Stephanie, that I woke up energized at 7:09 this morning, and immediately started making phone calls.

Maybe the Mark and Brian xmas show helped out, too. Wish I coulda been there.

So, I was actually excited to make stupid account set-up phone calls, and by 8:00 I had the electric, cable and telephone all ready to be installed the day I move in, save for the cable, which will be set up the day after between 8-10 a.m. (cable company slang for 11:30 a.m. or later)

I tried to call the apartment office, but apparently they were closed for some rockin' Christmas party.

I walked over to the bank, got a cashiers check, dropped it in the mail, then I went to the Mail Box place and got a notarized letter and faxed it to the apartment, to let them know that I authourize Stephanie to receive my key, and have access to the apt..

So, by about 11:30, I had all the business done. It would've been earlier if I had found out that the apt. office was closed earlier.

Then I came home and had a delicious Quizno's meatball sandwich.

Phills band, Element 40/60 played tonight, so I decided to jump in with him, since Dave was no where to be found.

I didn't know what to expect when I went to the show, but I had a good time. I think I enjoyed their music more then anyone else there. I think some of the fans were afraid of the darkness of their music. And the volume. I mean, cmon....the headlining band was a Metallica cover band. (Creeping Death) Kind of a tough crowd to play to when you sound like a mix between Korn and Suicidal Tendencies. I don't know what they sound like, really, but that was the closest thing I could think of. I really like the way they play together. I was proud of Phill. I see myself in a band within the next couple years, so it was nice to see him up there.

So, anyway, the point I meant to get to when I first started typing was that I've never been this excited about a new beginning before.

Usually when I start something new I get all nervous, and I don't know what to expect, and I'm uncomfortable for a few weeks. But nothing in my life has ever been this perfect. So why would finalizing it be any different?

Everything has been fun.

I worry for a bit here and there about logistics, but for the most part, I'm carefree.

I had fun walking to the bank back and forth this week.

I had fun burning cds for Ryan.

I had fun calling people and setting up installations.

I had fun talking to telemarketers.

A lot of times in my past, I had been planning move-in's with friends, and I would always be confused for a while. Just not knowing what the future held.

I guess that's why I'm marrying my best friend.

The other friends are never completely reliable. They are for the most part, but they all become selfish at some point, and you see their true colors during certain situations, especially when you live with them, and you're not used to it, and it ruins the entire perception of them. Friends will always be there if you need them... but they won't always necessarily want you around.

But Stephanie always wants me and needs me and desires me and likes my company and never gets tired of me, and never seems like she wants to be anywhere except with me, wherever.

And the feeling is so mutual.

It's going to be incredible.

My "frequent fucker" card gets reinstated this Wednesday!!!

I've going to put so much mileage on it this year.

I plan on taking full advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity. Actually, this opportunity is FOR a lifetime.

Our life together is like a once in a lifetime thing.

But stretching it out that long won't be that hard.

I said long. And hard.

And stretching.

But anyway, you're all probably tired of hearing how well things are going for me, because you love dwelling in how horrible your life is and how horrible it will always be.

My diary is so fricking awesome that you don't want to read it because it makes you feel bad about yourself.

My happiness is a downer for you.

I don't think that's my problem.

Get your had out of the sand, skippy.

And for gods sake, make eye contact.

Your shoes are ready to get a restraining order against your eyes.

The sidewalks feel like an object when you stare at them like that.

And you're wearing holes in your pockets by keeping them stuffed in there all day.

There's a trail of slugs behind you waiting for you to walk faster.

Even Morrissey thinks you should cheer up.

You make droopy dog look like more of an extrovert then Hulk Hogan.

I hate hating people... but you emo people just keep pushing it too far.

You're going to see yourselves in like 2 years on Dashboard Confessional unplugged, and just wonder what the fuck you were thinking. If you haven't killed yourself by then.

Or short-circuited.

Mutha fuckin' robots.

Why does Zach Morris sing for Taking Back Sunday?

Why does Jamie Walters sing for Dashored?

Why does Gideon Yago make fun of Dashbored?

He's like the emo poster boy. I mean if he doesn't like emo, he should stop dressing like he does.

I bet he jerks off to the Lifetime channel.

And then cuddles with himself afterwards.

I don't know if I can completely agree with Iann Robinson and Gideon Yago picking Queens of the Stone Age "Songs for the Deaf" as the album of the year.

It's one of my favorite albums.... but they made it sound like it was the clear cut, hands down choice for album of the year. I can't say that. There are too many other great albums out there. There are very rarely any clear cut choices for things like that. Unless you have no taste.

I'm actually a big fan of Iann Robinson though. (is it one n or two?)

And I do like Gideons written stuff in Spin.

I don't know. I want to stop hating people.

I have so much love in my heart.

But there are still so many artificial, obnoxious people out there.

I'm only unhappy with them because they're not easy to talk to. I try to befriend people all the time, and most of the time they are just so flawed almost immediately.

You can tell you couldn't spend more then a couple hours with them.

There aren't many people out there nowdays who are worth the time or effort to include in your life at a higher level.

You can't trust someone who keeps reinventing themselves every week.

Whatever...I don't know what I'm saying. I've gone too long.

Bottom line for this entry was that I'm so excited about a new beginning for the first time in a long time.

I know this is what I have to do.

I know I was born to love her.

I'm so fucking good at it.

Plus, I'm so fucking good at "it".

Oooh La la.

That's a bonus, and only she gets the prize.

I said "bone".

- premature ejaculation | tantra +