2002-10-21 | "Oh, you were finished. Well allow me to retort"

Have you ever had so much to say that you can't say anything?

That happens to me a lot.

It's happening to me right now.

It doesn't help that I just read Ryan's diary. His entries have been amazing recently. I'm honored to be one of his "members".

I love reading great stuff like that, because it's utterly inspiring, but it can be overwhelming at the same time. I want to respond to everything he has written about recently, but it seems like an enormous task at 1:33 in the morning, a little more then 13 hours since my girlfriend has returned to Tucson.

I have a million things to say just about my girlfriend, and I can't even muster that at this time.

This past week was amazing. It was the first time I'd seen Stephanie since last December. It was the shortest 6 days of my life.

The first two days seemed like forever, which is a wonderful thing when you're with the one you love. But once Wednesday came along I couldn't stop thinking we were slowly running out of time.

Luckily we were just running out of time for NOW. And I won't have to wait another year to see her. I should be there relatively soon.

I've never had so much fun doing nothing with somebody before. We just lay around and watch bad tv.

I handled her departure a lot better this time.

No tears were shed.

Don't get me wrong. I was extremely sad to see her go. But I've never been so happy and confident in my love for somebody. And in her love for me.

It's almost too good to be true sometimes.

Actually it's so good, I know it's true.

I think for like 5 minutes this week I had doubts about the future. Just fear of starting anew I think.

But I'm so confident that our life together is going to be nothing short of amazing.

I'm saying just basic things, because if I was to elaborate it could take forever.

Plus Ryans an amazing wordsmith, and he can do it even when he's talking about cool stuff, and his cornucopia of coolness on his most recent diary entries has drained me of much of my brain power, so i will save the rest for later.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +