2002-09-10 | MASCARA

what do you do at the end of the day at the end of the day at the end of the day?

when all that you did doesn't matter no more

and your head hits the pillow and your mind starts to soar

and you're next to somebody who loves you even though you snore

last night i dreamt that an old friend wanted me dead

i don't remember the little things, like what he said

i remember trying to hide from certain death

and when i woke up, i was once again reminded that i actually had some stuff to achieve before my family gathers to grieve

i'm not ready to give my baseball cards to all my friends

i'm not ready for my girlfriend to start dating other men, kissing my picture and crying before she meets them

looking up to the heavens before she decides if it's right

wishing i could be with her for just one more night

i'm not ready for a stranger to come to her door and tell her i won't be back anymore

it's weird, i haven't seen Jaron for years, and we weren't even that close

but the fact that he wanted to kill me in my dream, makes me think about the people that i care about the most

i sent a lady over to check out the facts

and she never came back

it must've been a sign, that i'm worth being alive, and i'm under the guise of somebodies watchful eye

i don't necessarily believe in god, but i think that it's odd, when you feel things from beyond trying to push you along

makes you wonder what it is out there, when you hear a voice in the air, a positive influence, just when you think life's not fair

it's hard to eat healthy, 'cos it all tastes great, and it's hard not to hate all those insufferable fakes

it's hard to skip fried things for things that are baked

it's hard to talk to people when they won't look at your face

it's hard looking at people that used to be in your place, rather they're where you used to be, and no longer care to face

you want to tell them that it's okay to be sad, but then you remember how living like that was such a waste

six years of wandering without looking up

looking at the ground, and wondering what's up

looking up numbers that you know don't exist

you weren't ready to call them back when there was a chance they wouldn't be missed

now they don't remember you, and you've held on too long

you wish you could let go, but there will always be that song

that takes you to that place that you pretend to forget

there's no sign of an end to that war yet

my head was spinning when i went down for the count

i wonder if that's why my dreams were so full of doubt

who were all those people preventing me from dying

the negative events depicted in the storyboard keep me from trying

hopefully you'll see the sincerity in what i'm saying here

because i never once thought about lying

i could've came up with something more catchy

but i'm tired of being embarassed when the intelligent ones catch me

i'd rather have the respect of the one's that know anyway

the ones that avoid the answers don't always do so intentionally

some are just immune to street smarts

out of touch with people skills

looking in the mirrors to their sweethearts

they can only seek themselves for lifes little thrills

believe me when you find the one, you truly find yourself

and you have no trouble being him, you can't believe you were ever anyone else

i wish i could loan you my shoes for a day

but i'm not willing to risk the chance that this could all go away

i use this as inspiration to try and find other successes

and i'm not going to let it rub off on you, because i'm afraid i might give too much

i want to save it all for her

i want you to find "it" within yourself, and then add it to your everyday recipe

i always make it a point to only use what i need, and at the end of the day i give her the rest of me

- premature ejaculation | tantra +