2002-08-10 | A CRY FOR HELP?
Dear Krist Novoselic, Dave Grohl, or to whom it may concern, I know this sounds ridiculous, and that everyone out there thinks they're the next big thing, but I want to nominate myself as the singer if you guys ever decide to play music together again. We don't have to do Nirvana cover songs, or even sound like Nirvana, and Courtney would probably try and sue our asses anyway, so we could just do our own thing. I'm confident that when we start jamming, we will end up with an amazing brand of new music. I know the chances of you guys playing together are slim and none, and the chances of you ever reading this, and even if you do, of picking me, are even lesser odds then that, but I figured I'd just put this out there in case you do read it, and are in dire need of a new dynamic. I am the dynamic duo. Except I'm just like one guy. I'm not a duo. But anyway..... I guess watching the old footage of Nirvana rocking, and wondering what has gone wrong with music since your band has been gone, has made me want to try and make things right again, and what better people to do it with then you two. We could even get Pat Smear again, too if you want. Or the brothers Meat. Even though Kurt was notorious for not having a good time, and for being down a lot, I can't help but remember how funny, and comfortable you guys looked when you were on television interviews, or just performing live. Even when you were trying to be cool, and act like you didn't care, you were too nice to act totally disinterested. And your senses of humor kept things fresh. Don't get me wrong, I would love to do this with other bands who aren't together anymore, but you guys are at the top of my list. I'd love to be the new missing link in Sublime, Jeff Buckley (I know he's not a band!), Smashing Pumpkins, the Police, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, Alice in Chains, the Smiths, Morphine, shit, who cares, i'll even step in for Blind Melon and Flock of Seagulls. I need to be heard. Will you choose me to be your leader in the new chapter of world domination. Would you love to see all the little boy bands (yes, that includes Dashboard Confessional) whimper in shame after we trample over them with our steamroller of substance? I can't wait to hear your response, although I am almost positive I may never hear it. My fingers are crossed. I warn you, if you don't pick me, I will be forced to do my dirty work with my own band, when I get one, that is. Sincerely, the missing link
- premature ejaculation
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