2002-07-31 | DJ P-SAJE ON THE WHEELS OF STEEL

I'm really good at Wheel of Fortune. I'm unbeatable. I need to get on that show somehow.

Even after taxes, I'm sure the cash and prizes would be substantial. Especially for someone who has hardly anything.

I've been wanting to go on that show for years. I'm just too good at it. I get the puzzles after like 4 letters, almost everytime.

I remember though, before, and kind of still now, that I was afraid to go on the show, because when they introduce you, they ask you what you do for a living, and I always had a lame job. So I didn't think I'd be eligible for the show. I think I'm right on that. Have you ever seen someone on there who said "Pizza Delivery Boy" when asked for their occupation?

I'm not a pizza delivery guy now, but I used to be. I would probably do it again. The tips are pretty amazing, depending on where you work. In Hawaii, people are good tippers. Well, alot of them are. It's either all or nothing. I've gotten anywhere from no tip to about 25 dollars. I thought the 25 dollar one might've been a mistake, but I wasn't about to tell him!

When I was doing room service in Bend, Oregon, this guy would come to our resort for the weekend about once a month, and he would tip me like massive amounts of money. He would sometimes complain about the food and service.

He had me pegged. It was kind of scary, because he was a weird guy, but he totally had me figured out.

He would always call at the last minute for an order. And I would be all unenthusiastic and sarcastic on the phone. And he'd be like "If it's a problem, that's okay, man." Then I'd have to pretend it wasn't. Then when I got to his door he'd be like "You okay, Jon? You sounded pissed on the phone."

I felt kind of bad, but not much, because I did it to everybody who called last minute. Call that late, and you deserve to hear my whining, biiiotch.

His last couple nights there he tipped me 20 bucks. Then he moved to my town.

Right across the street.

What a weirdo.

Luckily I moved soon thereafter.

I feel bad for the person who currently lives in my old apartment.

That guy with the binoculaurs across the street is an evil, horny, drunk man.

But he's a great tipper.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +