2002-04-04 | FAKE LAUGH TRACKS MUST DIE!!!!

More pointless ramblings about television and other stuff.

I GUESS THE 'MARIO LOPEZ' SHOW IS NEXT

"George Lopez" on ABC, starring "George Lopez" has got to be one of the most unfunny shows ever made. I only saw like half of it's pilot, but it was appallingly bad. He thinks walking around with "big eyes" is funny. His eyes were wide-open to the maximum the entire show. Is that supposed to be funny? He looked like he was surprised the entire show. Maybe he was surprised that they actually gave him a show in the first place. The eye thing was just not funny, and neither is the stereotypical mexican-american accent. "I'm goeeeng tooo pro-nownce everytheeeeng like theeeeese, ay?..." If I was a latino-american, well, i technically am in a way i guess (part-spanish) frankly I'd be ashamed. They didn't show the diversity of latino people. They showed a bunch of sterotypical mexican clones walking around a barbeque asking stupid questions, and making obnoxious facial gestures. It was horrible.

KIRSTIE ALLEY SHOULD GET A LAWYER

BABY BOB is another hideous sitcom. The baby talking is kind of cool to watch at times, but it's just another lame sitcom at the other times. The other actors are just generic. All they did was steal the idea of the Look Who's Talking movie series, and make it external instead of internal. And they're making millions off of it. Oh, yeah...and what's the big fucking deal with all these lame sitcoms using fake laugh tracks. Lose it please.

BERNIE WHACK

Bernie Mac is decent at times, every once in awhile funny, but it's massively overrated. Am I the only guy who can't understand a fourth of what he is saying? They ripped off that scene to scene "ripping" noise thingy from Malcolm in the Middle. I guess it's okay, since they're on the same network. I don't know. I just don't get the big deal about this show sometimes.

Is Undeclared cancelled? Somebody please tell me "no". Please.

At least the show that's been replacing it the last couple weeks is great. ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE is awesome. One of my favorite shows in awhile.

GREG THE BUNNY was stellar too. It has some really funny moments. Eugene Levy is such an underrated comic genius. He has great comic timing. Great physical humor, and great delivery. Seth Green is so enjoyable to me. Just in general. He seems like "good people" I'd like to hang out with him and talk about...about lame stuff like this. He's always nice and cool when he's on Conan, as well, and that always makes points with me. The warden from SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and I believe MURDER IN THE FIRST, also, plays the human actor on a kids show with a bunch of puppets. He's creepy sometimes. He's got a mustache now.

I had to start a new paragraph for the dreamy Sarah Silverman, even though she's on the same show as Seth and Eugene. She's hot, and funny, and smart. I know I'm stealing what the awesome MC PAUL BARMAN already said about her in "MEAN" magazine, but he was so true. He liked her even more because she's Jewish. She's still unknown, although you've seen her on many great shows before (trust me on this one), such as: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, MR. SHOW, and SEINFELD. One thing that always bothered me about her, though, is her giant nostrils. But she's still aiiight by me. She's always funny on Conan. "The Midget Incident" is a fond Conan memory for me....If you've seen Sarah talk about "little people" before then you know what I mean.

SAGET BRAIN

On a totally out of nowhere and unrelated note, I don't think people realize how funny, and dirty Bob Saget used to be. He was a pretty good stand-up, and he used to swear alot. I enjoyed him on his HBO special. No "B.S." Hee hee hee. Sorry. I had to do it.

SCARS FOUR EYES

the DREW CAREY show is sometimes funny, and sometimes completely boring and horrible. I've only seen like 2 or 3 full episodes ever. Sometimes just a second of seeing it as I pass by while looking for something that's actually "good", makes me sick to my stomach. It's pretty sad....my favorite part of that show is when he says "Ohio!" during the intro and it echoes "ohio, ohio, ohio..." But that intro is just unwatchable nowdays. It's enough to make you not want to watch the fucking show. The intro was only cool recently, when he "died" and they played "Girlfriend in a Coma" during the intro instead of "Cleveland Rocks". The Smiths are so beautiful.

BEAT ON THE GEEK WITH A PEICE OF JERKED MEAT

I can't remember exactly what happened. That's always a horrible way to start off a story, but anyway.... I was watching Beat the Geeks one day (a sudden guilty pleasure and a must watch everyday as soon as i get home from work), and they were asking the hilarious Tv Geek to answer a question that had something to do with "3 shows from the ABC television network." I don't remember what the exact question was. But the Tv Geek had a good retort. He said something along the lines of "A more difficult question would've been to name 3 'FUNNY' shows on ABC..." I thought it was hilarious at the time. Anyway.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +