2001-10-07 | WORLDWIDE RANTS (my worst entry yet, and one of the longest....what was i thinking)

as all you fellow geeks know, the emmy awards were cancelled, and for good this time. what wussies. why would you cancel the show because we're bombing afghanistan? are we afraid richard dreyfuss will get sabotaged while giving out the award for best technical production in a comedy (with fake laugh tracks only)? what is the reason? i could understand the first postponement, but this is ridiculous. you might put the e! channel out of business. joan rivers must be pissed. 4 days in the makeup chair for nothing. usually it doesn't help anyway, but hey.

anyway, e! continued coverage from the red carpet (why?) anyway, and were showing tv footage from the day of the terrorist attacks, along with "expert" opinions. this one lady was saying, "it wasn't about ratings, and who had the best view" and blah blah blah. bullshit, matilda....what do you think the fuss was all about with the "exclusive" banners on the bottom of the screen? why do you think they were scrambling to find anybody who was in the midst of it with a video camera to come on and talk about it and show their EXCLUSIVE!! angles before they even had a chance to breathe? why aren't all the networks working together to do something really, extremely positive, or making one big news special to really make a statement, and give us some real answers? Why? Because they love this shit. That's why the top anchors get paid more then Bush, Cheney, Guiliani, Pataki, and Powell combined. Of course it's not all about ratings, but my god, you think the people at the top are complaining about their shares? People still have bad attitudes, and temper tantrums, because they can't get the right angle, or because they can't get the right correspondent. And why do they continue to interrupt guests they believe are obviously not as important, to talk to some guy in afghanistan who can barely speak english? Anchors are so fucking rude. At a time like this can't you at least have some patience. How can you tell anybody to calm down and be normal, when you're acting like a bunch of children. For the most part, the real professionals have kept a cool, level head, but there's still way too much bullshit out there. That psycho bitch lawyer lady that was a major correspondent during the O.J. trial, should not be allowed on tv ever again. Her constant whining, and cutting off of eloquent, important guests, is out of control. And her face. Yikes. Have you seen your mouth lady? Get on Howard Stern and show your boobs for a new face by dr. collabro. The Leprechaun called....he wants his smirk back. What's with these huge colorful banners on the bottom of the screen with the same bit of useless info on there for 4 hours? So...bin Laden is bad, right? Oh..i see. thanks for the tip, skippy.

Next...Why are we using religion as a topic of discussion at all? It's just not important right now. God bless you, god bless me, god bless america. Blah Blah Blah. Jerry Falwell can suck my dick. You too Billy Graham. As so called holy men you hate more then most atheists. Atheists usually "disagree" with you. You flat out hate people that your good book hints at might be sinners. If hate and ignorance is a sin, be careful, fuck face. "The devil did this!". Shut up. The devil is in the bahamas cheating on his wife and kickin' it with o.j. He doesn't even know what's happening. He's on the southern comfort and black tar heroin. He's listening to the Judas Priest collection. He probably retired already. There's probably some guy in Iowa who took over the business. I don't even know what my point is. Just why bring your religious beliefs into this? Why bring any of your beliefs into this? Just use your mind, like my man Mark Adkins said. Some guy sent me a picture of the smoke at the world trade center that had the devils face in it. Jesus Christ. Oh know...i was blashemous. I must be a terrorist.

Another thought....why don't all the talk show hosts do some kind of benefit. Why don't Leno and Letterman put their little bullshit feud on the side for awhile and have an Arsenio Hall roast or something?

Exclusive ratings, and up to the minute rumours coming up after the next patriotic commercial by a company who got in hot water for not letting a black guy have a denver omelette. If the economy is so bad how come i can't get in at the friggin Outback Steakhouse? What if i went somewhere really fancy? Even the Red Lobster had a line around the corner. Do some of the lobsters have gold coins stuffed up their asses? I hope i'm making sense, because i'm making this up as i go along. I have a feeling i'm bombing big time. Oh no...i said bomb! They're coming to get me for real this time. I love all of you. My interview with fake-ass news anchor number 480 is on it's way. If this sucked, blame Peter Jennings. He stole all my "Osama" jokes. Your Osama is so dumb, he thought Fleetwood Mac was a new burger at McDonalds. He's so dumb he thought 2Pac was a group of 2 dudes from Pakistan. I completely acknowledge that this diary entry sucked major ass. Ok, my time is done here. Give a hand to my band Nell Carter and the Dexa-Trims

- premature ejaculation | tantra +