Aloha Kakahiaka

2004-10-03 | SINNERVISIONS

It seems to me that a lot of times, the safest place to be in the world is the place where a crime was committed a couple of hours ago.

Bands are like dogs. Their most loyal followers start to look like them after awhile.
There is a new epidemic in stand up comedy. One of the chic things to do lately seems to be screwing up on purpose to set yourself up for a joke about your mistake. It's beyond me why one would want to do this, and why they can't make it less obvious.
For some reason on that horrible coffee commercial with Wayne Brady, they have a black woman playing his wife. In real life he is dating a Japanese girl from Hawaii. Why is America not ready for this? It's a god damn coffee commercial. Aren't there asian actresses in need of work, too? Also, on the Chapelle Show, he often has scenes with his "wife", and the majority of the time it's a black woman. His wife is Asian, too, if I'm not mistaken. Now this one really bothers me, because I thought he had a lot of creative control on his show. So basically he thinks that he'll lose some of his street cred if he has an Asian wife on the show. I don't get it.
A couple of weeks ago I was watching the Wonder Years and I shed a little tear at the end. It was the episode where Kevin goes to work with his Dad and understands his dad a little more afterwards. There's a moment at the end where they're looking in a telescope and there's this really nice song playing in the background. I guess it made me miss my dad. From day to day I don't ever lose it over the death of my father. I came to terms with it almost immediately after it happened. What could I do? It was over? But every once in awhile I'll see one of those simple father/son moments on t.v. and tear up a little bit. So sue me.
One of the most disgusting commercials I've ever seen is the Gatorade commercial saying "goodbye" to Mia Hamm. Oh my what a vomitfest. Her soccer teammates shreiking "we love you Mia"'s is the lowlight of the ad. Nomar saying "Thanks, beautiful" is right up (or down) there, too.
There's a Pepsi commercial where a White Sox fan gives Sammy Sosa a super hot burrito as a practical joke. You can tell the burrito is really spicy, because they took the liberty of playing really loud Mexican music in the background, with the singer screaming loudly as Sosa begins to notice the burrito is en fuego. Thank you racist admen!
A pretty funny description I saw on Ebay: "Ricky Williams bobblehead doll for Dolphins fans to bust up."
Poor Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. They were on Last Call with Carson Daly a couple of weeks ago, and they were still singing "The bottle makes three tonight". CONSTANTLY. It's pretty much the only thing that makes watching Swingers over and over again difficult.
The New Man Show guys truly must die. Triumph said it best at the Comedy Central Awards. "Doug Stanhope is here tonight. Who the fuck is Doug Stanhope?"
A couple of weeks ago when the hurricanes were raging in Florida, one of my first concerns was whether the baseball games would be cancelled there, so I could change my Fantasy Baseball lineups accordingly. I'm a sad sad man, folks.

- premature ejaculation | tantra +