2002-12-08 | LEAVE THE THRIVING TO US

My eyes fight to stay open

I've been trying to write this since before ten

Phill was on the couch reading a magazine

I was sitting here dreaming of you

Had you in the IM box

Wishing I was hearing you while you spoke to me

Why am I so awake now

My eyes no longer struggle

I should get some sleep

Or I'll have no more secrets to keep

Keep your fingers and your toes crossed

I'm not equipped for another loss

I'm ready for a big change

And people who aren't always strange

My brain is full of excess

At least the air is clear

The confusion has been boiled down to pointless knowledge

And the memories of the past are just pictures

I can look past everything now

Because of all the surrounding beauty

The background is full of vivid colors

I guess that's why I miss all the others

I'm dizzy with anticipation

Tomorrow I'll take a 20 minute walk, just to get one step closer (i hope)

I'll walk back and pray to an unknown entity

And I'll try to be confident and positive

but not overly so

I have to be ready to let any negative outcome go

It doesn't matter, 'cos I'll get there

We'll lay in bed and sing Christmas songs

I have a feeling it'll all turn out just fine

When I'm finally there in your arms

It'll all make sense in that moment

No matter where we are

If I spontaneously combust, i trust that you will not let me collect dust

Loyalties a must, so it's Tucson or bust, I don't need time to adjust

Just be there to pick me up when I fall off of the bus

- premature ejaculation | tantra +