2002-10-28 | DEAD MAN WALKING

it turns from red to black

depression sets in

death now comes with retsin

refreshing

so count your blessings

i'm so sad

because my baby hurts so bad

i'm hundreds of miles away

and i should be there by her side

she moans when she breathes

from pain not ecstacy

and it hurts me too

i feel so helpless

i miss the way it was a couple weeks back

hearing her sleep so peacefully

and feeling her reach for me in the middle of the night

now i'm a waiting man again

i feel like i'm on death row

except i'm leaving the death behind

but waiting for it's demise feels like a pointless event

i'm living a futile life for the time being

because i know i'm not where i'm supposed to be

and i feel like i'm pushing her

i hope it's not me

that makes her ribs hurt

i dream of disease

and i cry when i sleep

but no one can see it

i dissappear to a place, where no one is fearless

and they explain the way they feel

and try and find ways to heal

i hope she knows

i'm telling the truth

when i say "i'd do anything to take the pain from you"

i prayed one night that i'd steal her pain

but she called me the next night, and we were dying again

her from pain

and me from guilt

i know it's not my fault

but i should be nursing her back to health

or at least getting her soup

or a drink of some tea

or helping her forget it at least momentarily

i'm stuck for awhile

i hope it's the last time

because i feel like a child

who is still somewhat blind

i've yet to see it all

but i've seen enough bad

i'm ready to experience beauty

like i never have

i know i can't really make it all better

or maybe i can with a call or a letter

she tells me i help, by just loving her so

but sometimes i feel so weak that i just might blow

but the good that lies ahead is the foreword to my story

the one that ends good for once, not evil and gory

- premature ejaculation | tantra +