2002-09-11 | STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE (pt. II)

wow...it just hit me....

"though they were sad, they rescued everyone"

reminds me of the people that had to attack the hijackers on United flight 93. Even if they felt like shit, they came together and averted the plane from being even more catastrophic.

I have to change one of my answers on that quiz i took that i got from megasass.

song that makes you cry: ray charles "america the beautiful"

if you hear that song under the right circumstances you will cry like a little girlie man.

I can attest to that. I know from experience.

I don't care if I sound like a wuss.

I woke up this morning looking forward to watching the Wayne Brady show, or some other form of morning programming. "Easy watching", if you will.

But, I didn't realize how September 11-dominated the programming would be.

I watched a town meeting with Tom Brokaw for a few minutes, and was barely moved. I mean, it was fine, but the part i saw didn't make me emotional or anything.

I turned it to ESPN, and they were showing an opening ceremony for todays Los Angeles Dodgers at San Francisco Giants baseball game.

They started playing "America the Beautiful"--Ray Charles version, and I started tearing up a little bit. I don't even know why. Then they started showing faces of law enforcement people, and victims, and just the sorrow in their faces made me cry a little more. My face was damp and swollen in mere minutes. I have no direct connection to the tragedies of last year, but just thinking of all the agony suffered by people who do, at certain times, can just crush you out of nowhere....blindsiding you.

Then instead of having a "first pitch", they had the son of one of the victims place the ball on the pitchers mound, and just seeing the baseball there on the mound by itself, and the way the son (in his mid-20's) waved to the crowd, and fled the mound with his head slightly hung, before he started to lose it, got to me again, and I started to cry again. I had that single tear drop gliding down my face, like Conan always jokes about. But my eyes were all welled up. It's so weird. I didn't even want to hear anything about that shit anymore, and without warning, i'm sucked back into it.

Then some members of the San Francisco Fire Department, or something like that, began to play "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes, which on a normal occasion I would think was overly cheesy, and disgustingly overdramatic, got me crying again. They showed a female police officer ("why don't they call you officer-esses?") and she was trying to stay composed, and she wiped a tear off her face with her shoulder, and I cried a little again.

At some point I started making those lame sounds you make when you're crying like a baby. I haven't done that since last December, when I had to come back to Hawaii, and not knowing when I would see Stephanie again.

I think alot of these tributes and stuff are just way too dramatic, and repetitious, but I'm sure it helps some people deal with it. I guess today can be an exception. The thing that bothers me about the coverage of all this stuff, is the negative reminder part of it. The rude awakening that something like this could happen at any time. It just pisses me off. I don't want to be constantly reminded of how vulnerable we may or may not be. In a way, I guess it's good to be aware of it, but it just seems too overwhelming at times.

The government wants us to be aware, yet they can't guarantee they have all the facts, or that they can stop something like this. Why don't you focus on yourselves? Forget about us, and start finding a fool proof plan, or better yet, get rid of the fucking fools, and find out how you can prevent something like this, every time. Not just on certain occasions, or during certain events. You need to have something ready--in fucking place--every goddamned day. It will create more jobs. Find out who your best people are, people with ideas, patriotic people, and get them involved in a plan...but don't just plan it, make it happen, asshole.

I hate talking about this stuff too much, because it makes me look like "one of those people", and believe me, I'm not. It's just on today, and it's in my face, and I can't avoid it, so I may as well exploit it. So forgive me for talking about shit that you've probably heard a million times. It's just my two cents. You can keep it, or you can throw it away. I just felt like typing about it for once.

p.s. STOP TRYING TO SCARE US!!!!!

"how dare you try to take away my hope... who do you think you are?...you try to take my hope? That's all I have"

- premature ejaculation | tantra +