2002-01-03 | NYQUIL DREAMS

making it up

"SLEEP AID"

it's like when you're sick

and you're only halfway back

but you go back anyway

because you feel so much better

then you did when it all began

so you stumble to work

and thank god you're not dead again

a couple days ago

the walls were closing in on you

your skull was throbbing

and you couldn't move

but everything was moving closer to you

nyquil dreams

cramps near your inseam

waking up with your head where your feet used to be

dreaming about making love to faceless women that you've never seen before

but you swear you've tasted their bodies

i prefer waking up feeling like a whore

then when i wake up feeling depressed'

so sad i just sleep some more

'til i dream something pleasing

i used to wake up in pools of sweat

wondering if they were my tears for a second or two

ever wake up and pray that your roommates have gone away?

what's that? oh, everyday

you listen for those sounds that you wake up to everyday

when you hear one you fall back down as if there was an ocean below you to keep you from falling all the way to the ground

when they wake you up getting something to eat

it makes you want to keep them in the kitchen under high heat

scrape the hate off the walls

and swallow it again

you were the manufacturer

and the distributor

i'd be happy if you treated me as well as your most infrequent visitor

remember when you were fun?

or were you just waiting for your moment to come?

i thought you were joking

but you were trying to be so cool when you stood outside smoking

for hours on end shivering in the snow

waiting for someone to walk by and notice you

i keep thinking your lung might just fall

right there on the ground and laugh at us all

wondering why we're wasting our lives

talking about everybody else, even the ones we don't despise

it's amazing what you'll say in the company of friends

it's amazing what you deny when it comes to an end

it's amazing that when you're far, suddenly i'm cool again

i'm way too nice, i still consider you a friend

how come when a person doesn't talk, everyone else thinks they're nuts

while they get drunk and talk about nonsense, and pretend that they have guts

the reason you feel indestructible when the liquid runs down your throat

is that you need a crutch to stand on your own, and somebody elses body as a coat

when you feel the warmth of the liquor, for a second you feel alive

it's that false heat that keeps you out of the cold, and on that gradual dive

you forget about the times i saved you

and the times you could've done the same for me, but you didn't

i guess that's what i'm there for

to NOT remind people of their ignorance

you see, i tell them in so many words without hurting their spirit

even though they slice away at mine, with every passing minute

can't close it with a way that makes sense to you like it does to me

so i just have to end it before it eats at me indefinitely

right?

yeah, right. it's not a big deal

it's just stuff that happens

you should know that it's okay to feel

and it's okay to want to be healed

and it's okay to not know how to deal

when all the tables full of strangers, and they look like they're men of STEAL

???????????????

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"this won't be the last you'll hear from me: it's just the start. I hope that he keeps you up for weeks like you did to me. I will hold a candle up to singe your skin. Brace yourself: I'm bent with bitterness"--death cab for cutie

"as kisses go.....it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.. the alkaline lips, the fingers hooked around my belt. She had to go....she took a step back and then she started to smile. i heard a funny sound and everything seemed to shift"--dismemberment plan

- premature ejaculation | tantra +