2001-12-19 | FIVE TWOS EQUALS ONE BO DEREK

One of the best Christmas songs of all time has got to be "Christmas In Hell" by Satan, of South Park fame. It's funny how pretty much every famous dead person ends up in Trey and Matt's hell. And I always love mention of Andy Dick!

The guy that won "Project Greenlight" is kind of an asshole. He's already starting to power-trip. I understand wanting to keep your work the way it is, and not wanting people to fuck with it, but this guy needs to be more appreciative of the opportunity he's getting. I liked that Kevin Smith was kind of giving him shit. I'd like to think that if I won that thing I'd be alot more gracious, I'd get along alot better with the celebrities, and I'd just be alot cooler. This guy seems like a phony, and frankly, a giant dorkazoid.

Ben Affleck was pretty funny on there, and seemed like a good guy to hang out with, as far as a hollywood type goes. They didn't show him greeting people with handshakes or anything. I like to see them show stuff like that. It makes me think maybe he doesn't shake hands or something, because they don't show it. I don't know, just a little thing that bothers me. But he was doing funny voices on there, and he was alot funnier then he is in most of his movies. It's funny to see rich celebrities doing things that normal people do. Example: Ben Affleck using a Diet Coke can as an ashtray. It was funny when they were trying to get more money for the movie and they couldn't get any action done for days, and then Affleck came in and in 5 minutes he had Harvey Weinstein scheduled for a meeting. After the guy below Harvey found out they went "over his head", he whined like a baby, but got them an extra half-million anyway. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Project Greenlight was a Miramax contest put on by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and some other people for someone to write a screenplay and direct it into a movie. Well, now they have a show that shows the whole process on HBO, and I think it airs on Sundays first, then it repeats on Tuesday nights, or something. Catch the fever baby!! (It's really not THAT exciting, but I like it, and I like saying phrases that people used to think were cool back in the early 80's.

There are little parts of songs, simple lyrics that have always reminded me of Stephanie, but ever since I came back from that week with her, they have all hit me a little harder. That song "Stellar" comes to mind from Incubus. "How do you do it? Make me feel like I do. How do you do it? It's better then I ever knew"

Well, everybody, sorry to break the news to you if you haven't heard it, but the super-couple known as Tom Green and Drew Barrymore are getting divorced. I guess she got tired of hearing her name being repeated over and over and over again for no reason while he had a toilet plunger on his head and her underwear in his mouth. If you know anything about Tom Green maybe that makes sense? Don't lose all your faith in love though, people. Tom Sizemore has fallen in love. Apparently he's been dating Heidi Fleiss for 10 months now, and they're madly in love. That is weird, wild stuff.

Finally a heartwarming closing line from the fearless genius known as George Carlin:

"I've never fucked a "10". NEVER!!... But one night I fucked five "2's"..... I think that should count."

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