2001-12-13 | 1,2,3, REPEATER

Here are my answers to the SPIN 2001 Readers Poll. The opinions expressed here, are not necessarily the opinions of diaryland, but maybe some of them should be. I hope you enjoy, hell, I hope you just understand. I hate when people don't get what I'm talking about. Just to explain: the magazine had these sentences with blanks in them, and the reader was supposed to fill the blank with a band name or whatever. Since there are no "blanks" here, I will put my answers in "quotes" and the rest of the sentence will be the way it read in Spin. If you don't understand, I don't know what to do with you. The quoted words are my picks for best band, etc. Okay, here I go. I'm doing this on the spot, without preperation, so sue me if I mess up. Oh-and I tried to answer with bands that Spin has actually mentioned in their magazine. If I picked my real favorites, only a select few would know the bands, and the rest would think I was being a pretentious ass.

1."TENACIOUS 'motherfucking' D." are so rocking, that I even quoted them in my yerbook. (2001s best band)

2.If 90210 were still on, surely "FUEL" would be booked at the Peach Pit After Dark. (Worst band)

3.The only thing that could make "RYAN ADAMS" even better, would be hooking up with John Oates. (Best Solo Artist)

4.I would rather listen to Ringo Starr's entire catalog, then hear "Shaggy/Macy Gray". (Worst Solo Artist)

5.Society would be nothing but a bleak construct without the addition of the humanoid "the STROKES", who is saving earth from being a wasteland. (Best New Artist)

6."CHOP SUEY" is so catchy that I didn't mind smashing into a Greyhound and knocking my teeth out while listening to it. (Best Song)

7.I'd rather listen to Starships 'We Built This City' on endless repeat, through a Discman, lying in a coffin with a rotten corpse, then hear "THAT FUCKING SHAGGY SONG!". (Worst Song)

8.I actually smashed the TV screen with my face trying to enter the realm of wonder portrayed in "the 'KENNA' song, that I can't remember the name of". (Best Video)

9.I had more fun watching "FREAKS AND GEEKS" then I did viewing the surgery channel. (Best TV Show)

10.Third-annual Natali Imbruglia award goes to "MARK MCGRATH". (Worst SPIN Cover)

11.I took "KURT COBAIN/JOEY RAMONE" down to the strip mall to get it airbrushed on my t-shirt. (Best SPIN cover)

12.Not since Van Gogh, has someone been so unappreciated as "Chokebore". (Most Underrated Artist)

13.Last night, "DJ SHADOW/WALLY/Q-BERT/ MIXMASTER MIKE" saved my life. (Best DJ)

14.I even brought a cup to pee in so I wouldn't have to miss five minutes of "NOFX/LESS THEN JAKE/TOOL". (Best Live Act)

15."MEMENTO/SCARY MOVIE 2" was so good, that I went alone, just like I do to every movie. (Best Movie)

16."JACK BLACK and NELLY FURTADO/ STEPHANIE" make me rub up and down against the wall like an unspayed alley cat in heat. (Sex God, Sex Goddess)

17.Multiple Choice: Of all the bands held together with paper clips and chewing gum, I'm most excited to see what happens with:

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

METALLICA

JANE'S ADDICTION

DESTINY'S CHILD

my answer: "JANE'S WITH RATM AT A CLOSE SECOND, METALLICA A CLOSE THIRD AND DESTINYS CHILD, WELL LET'S JUST FORGET DESTINYS CHILD...."

18.Most Annoying Real World Cast Member: "NICOLE/CORAL (AND LORI, IN A CUTE WAY (sometimes)."

19.If you think electronica is tops, you are so '97: It's all about "DEATH-SKA." (The next big thing)

20.I would rather dress like Mr. Furley or Mrs. Roper from Three's Company than peer into "MACY GRAY'S" wack-ass, no-style closet. (Worst-dressed artist)

21.I like to boom "'TROUBLE'(?) from CYPRESS HILL" from my low-rider. (Best Hip-Hop Jam)

----------------------------------------

Okay, that sucked

- premature ejaculation | tantra +