2001-07-09 | "YOU'RE SO INSANE, YOU WON'T ADMIT THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU"

My friend called today and said she had a dream. she said i was working in a photo-mat type of place, and that i was always busy when she came around. and that i was always writing in a notebook. she told her mom about the dream and told her that i enjoy writing, etc. her mom said she thinks the dream means i need to make a drastic change in life, as far as career or whatever. i think the writing thing is definitely a must. i must get paid for doing some of this. i love doing it, but it would be really rewarding to get some monetary appreciation as well. i also feel that another drastic change in my life will be someday living with stephanie and moving from hawaii again. it could be just a dream....it's definetely a hope. here's todays song. it talks about the above events. also i told my step-brother about stephanie today. i guess he had heard from my mother about stephanie and asked me about her. i told him that she was very smart and that she's a college graduate, and that she has a cool job, and a cool life and cool everything. he asked me "so what, you getting married or what?" i said, "well.....?" (wanting to say yeah, maybe or something like that). he said "don't catch up to me too fast...." (he's married with two kids) it's funny, she is older then him and i always consider him to be so mature and me to be immature. i hope i'm mature enough for my girl. she's cool. i had to say cool again. see?

"PRIDE"

I'm so proud of you....and me...i bragged to Todd about how great you are today. I tell lots of people we're great together. You're so established....(to me)..and that's all that matters. My pain damn near vanished and the doubts have been shattered. I'm proud of you and the things you've done...and I look forward to the things we'll do together. Happiness is love for me and maybe a little "dough" too. Every little bit helps, and i gotta whole bunch from you (help). When I didn't know if I'd ever have anything to work for again. You inspire me to want to inspire you, and aspire to bottle my desire and send the fire right (write) back to you.

(chorus)

life is good with you

and most things make sense

i'll see you in november

rub your shoulders if you're tense

carry you if your legs get tired

stay up all night with you when you get wired

life is pretty cool with you

and it'll get better too

Anna said I need a change, it's true. I've already changed so much since i've known you. To me it's nothing dramatic or drastic. The change is good, cos everything else in this world feels plastic. She had a dream, must have been about you and me (subliminally). Because she saw big things happening to me. I need a new life and i think i've found it. soon you'll see there's no tip-toeing around it...it's time to put ourselves around it... and embrace until it enters our veins...

- premature ejaculation | tantra +