2003-09-20 | WHY DID YOU BECOME A COP? SHUT THE FUCK UP

Last weekend I was picking up some food from Panda Express, and as I was preparing to turn right and exit the parking lot, my car was rear-ended.

BY A POLICE OFFICER!!

He hit me pretty hard, but there wasn't much damage, because I think he hit me with that big black hard rubber thing in front of his bumper.

We were in a private parking lot, and not on the street, so the cop didn't get in too much trouble, but they still had to do all this stupid police work, like measuring distances, and seeing exactly where the cars were, and taking photos of my miniscule damage. It took over an hour, and for most of it all I could do was just stand there trying to look innocent as all these idiots came outside to see the "commotion".

I guess they didn't realize that if I was in that much trouble I would've been in the back seat of the police car, not standing on the corner unsupervized, twiddling my thumbs.

I'm a pretty patient man, so standing around for an hour or more didn't bother me that much, except for the fact that my food was getting cold.

It was pretty cool. It gave me a story to tell, and I got to kill an hour with a pastime I'm not used to using as a murder weapon.

I felt bad for the cop, though, because he seemed like he might be a goober. The kind of guy the other cops would make fun of. He was just a regular looking guy, but the first thing the second cop on the "scene" said to the cop that hit me when he arrived, made me think he might be kind of a dumbass, and maybe not the best cop.

As the heavier-set back-up cop approached my car, he looked at the guy that hit me with a puzzled look on his face and said "AGAIN?"

- premature ejaculation | tantra +